The 50 Most Important Superheroes, Ranked. #1 Will Shock You!

So, recently, GameSpot put out a list of the most important superheroes, ranked. It was a terrible list that included Pootie Tang and Hancock, and I’m not even going to link to it because it was so awful. But it did make me aware that there is a burning need for such a list. So here it is before you. But before we begin….

THE RULES

If you’re going to make a list like this, there’s got to be rules. Rule #1, these are the most important superheroes, not the coolest, the most popular, or the most powerful. To rank on the list, you’ve got to make a lasting and meaningful contribution to the comic book/superhero community. Rule #2. DC and Marvel only. I know there are hugely important superheroes that were produced by indie creators, but the scope of possible entries is so large already that for the sake of expediency, I feel compelled to stick to the mainstream guys. So sorry, no Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Captain Everything, Spawn, or Hellboy here. Maybe I’ll do a list of the most important indie superheroes in a different post. Rule #3. This list is for Super Heroes. That means guys who put on a costume and fight crime. So you won’t find supernatural-based characters like Constantine, Dr. Strange, Swamp Thing or The Demon, and you won’t see NPC* types like Lois Lane, Alfred, or Jarvis. It also means heroes. They can be a bit morally ambiguous, but there’s no one on here who occasionally fights for the side of right because they were forced to join the Suicide Squad or because they’re in love with Batman. So, Deadpool and Wolverine make the cut, Harley Quinn, Deadshot, Magneto, and Catwoman no. Rule #4. An included hero means all incarnations of that hero. That means a Green Lantern entry includes the entire Green Lantern Corps, a Flash entry includes the Flashes of Earth 1, Earth 2…. Earth-n, and Robin includes every Tim, Dick and Jason you can think of. Finally, Rule #5. Teams. I included a team if I felt their influence as a team ranked them as of top importance. When I included a team, it took up as many places on the list as the team had original team members. To try to include every member that has passed through the ranks of a team, even one like the Fantastic Four, would swamp the list. If I felt a team member had individual importance that ranked, I gave them a separate entry. You’ll also note that I didn’t include the JLA, JSA, the Avengers or the Legion of Super Heroes. I’ll explain why at the end. And yes, #1 on the list WILL shock you (Spoiler Alert: It isn’t Superman). So without further ado….

*Ask your geeky D&D playing friends.

48-50. The Teen Titans (Original Members: Robin, Kid Flash, Aqualad)

There was a time long ago when comic books were actually geared towards kids. But very few were actually about kids. The Teen Titans gave kids and teenagers an in to the world of superheroes with three (and shortly thereafter five, and then many more) super powered youngsters who were more than just a “Junior Justice League,” but a group of individuals with their own identities. The 80’s reboot by Marv Wolfman and George Perez was one of the most read and celebrated books of its era, and introduced characters crucial to the DC Universe today, like Cyborg, Beast Boy, Raven, and Starfire, and has inspired spinoffs and an animated series. Best of all, the original members actually grew up and fulfilled their young promise, with Robin becoming Nightwing, Kid Flash becoming the third Flash, Speedy, who joined shortly after the group's first appearance, becoming Arsenal/Red Arrow, and Wonder Girl, who also joined the team at the beginning, transforming into Troia.

47. The Sandman

I’m cheating a little here. Wesley Dodds’ Sandman, a 40’s mystery man with Bruce Wayne-like wealth and a gas gun that put villains to sleep, was an interesting hero, and a member of the original Justice Society. However, his real contribution to comics’ history was inspiring Neil Gaiman’s Sandman, a title related only as tangentially as possible to the original. Gaiman created a rich mythology all his own inside the D.C. Universe with his tales of Morpheus, the essence of Dreams. Besides being one of the classic works of comic literature, Gaiman’s Sandman has inspired the FOX TV show Lucifer and a movie based on his series has been rumored to be in the works for years.

46. The Scarlet Witch

The Scarlet Witch, a reformed evil mutant or an alien experiment, depending on which retcon you ask, has a simple but very important power. She can change reality. Typically, her “Hex Powers” were merely used to create a little bad luck for her enemies. However, when she got pissed enough, with a little power boost, she rewrote the entire universe. (See House of M). The result of which was a brutal but badly needed ethnic cleansing of mutants in the Marvel Universe (They really had gotten into everything). Eventually, the mutants get their abilities back, but this event established Wanda Maximoff as a lady you don’t want to mess around with. Oh, and she also married a nearly indestructible robot, which is its own thing.

45. Ms. Marvel

While Carol Danvers, the original Ms. Marvel and current Captain Marvel in the Marvel Universe is plenty important, the major reason Ms. Marvel is on the list is because of the 4^th character to wear this mantle. Kamala Khan. Khan, a Pakistani-American who is one of Marvel’s “Inhumans,” is not only a teenage girl who kicks ass, but is the first Muslim to star in her own comic book. Not bad in today’s ethnically sensitive times.

38-44 The Crimebusters (Original Members: Captain Metropolis, The Comedian, Rorschach, Nite Owl, the Silk Spectre, Dr. Manhattan, Ozymandias)

While those who only saw the movie know them as “The Watchmen,” in fact, the main heroes in Alan Moore’s now classic graphic novel were never really on a team together, meeting only once as “The Crimebusters,” a meeting that went about as badly as possible. However, the characters in Watchmen, based on the Charlton Heroes The Peacemaker, The Question, The Blue Beetle, Nightshade, Captain Atom and Thunderbolt (Captain Metropolis was a minor character Moore invented completely), changed the way the world looked at superheroes, and, along with Frank Miller’s Dark Knight Returns, Neil Gaiman’s Sandman, and Moore’s other groundbreaking work, Swamp Thing, ushered in the era of comics as literature, comics that weren’t just for kids anymore.

36-37 Hawkman/Hawkgirl

Hawkman and Hawkgirl (sometimes Hawkwoman, but usually Hawkgirl), were one of the first, if not the first, married superhero teams. In a universe where most superheroes were either loners or had swooning girfriends who could never truly possess them, married superheroes making it work was a unique idea that paved the way for other married superheroes like the Vision and the Scarlet Witch, Mr. Fantastic and Invisible Woman, and Lightning Lad and Saturn Girl. The Hawks also possess not one, but two of the most unique origin stories around. In one, they are incarnations of an Egyptian Prince and his true love, doomed to be slain by their mortal enemy and reincarnated over and over again, in another, they are a pair of space cops tracking a super-thief to Earth, where they remain to capture him and end up making it their home.

35. Aquaman

The Earth is 70 percent water, and without the King of the Seven Seas, that’s leaving a lot of fertile story “ground” on the table. Aquaman, born Arthur Curry, has been around a long time, an original member of the Justice League and one who has been with the league in almost every incarnation. While Aquaman is sometimes mocked as “the guy who talks to fish,” (Thanks “Superfriends”), he is in fact a critical part of the D.C. Universe, and his powers, which include immense strength and toughness, tremendous swimming speed, the ability to breathe underwater and yes, telepathy with sea life, are often vastly underestimated.

34. The Sub Mariner

Without Namor, however, there might be no Aquaman. Namor the Sub-Mariner was one of the first superheroes, fighing alongside Captain America and the original Human Torch during World War II as The Invaders. Aquaman’s powers, origin, and motivations are disturbingly similar to Namor’s, although usually Arthur has a more favorable demeanor. Namor is fiercely territorial and a rival of Reed Richards for the Invisible Woman’s affections, so while he is a good guy at heart, he can be said to be one of the first antiheroes in comics.

33. The Martian Manhunter

So what’s so great about the Martian Manhunter? Well as humble as J’onn J’onzz is, he probably won’t tell you that he has quietly served as a stand in for Superman just about whenever DC has needed one. Until recently replaced by Cyborg (which I don’t understand), the Manhunter was a member of every incarnation of the Justice League of America, which was convenient for times when DC didn’t want Superman used in that book, since MM’s powers are very similar (flight, super strength, invulnerable skin, with shape changing, invisibility, telepathy, and some other goodies throwin into the mix). He’s also appeared in DCs TV Universe in both Smallville and Supergirl, so he must have something good going on, right?

32. Cyclops

X-men come and go, but Cyclops always seems to keep on trucking. He was the tacit field general of the original X-men, stuck around to lead the massively successful 70s reboot, and he’s still bossing some mutants somewhere around today. While firing concussive bolts from your eyes may not seem like the most impressive power, it’s Scott Summers deep love of his mutant family, thoughtfulness, and abilities as a master strategist that makes him so important to the X-men specifically and the greater Marvel Universe in general.

31. Storm

Storm wasn’t the first black superhero and she wasn’t the first female superhero, but she might have been the first to be both, and she’s certainly one of the most prominent figures in the Marvel Universe. She’s been a goddess, a queen, the leader of the X-men, and she even rocked a Mohawk for awhile. If you can say the Uncanny X-Men took the world by Storm, Ororo Munroe is a big reason why.

30. Thor

Speaking of gods and the weather, you can’t talk about either without mentioning Thor, and his importance to the Marvel Universe. While both DC and Marvel have their full versions of the Greek and Roman pantheon of Gods, Thor seems to be the only truly successful “crossover” artist, serving as both one of the most powerful Avengers and the Norse God of Thunder. Between his ability to connect the old mythology with the new, and being able to be “Marvel’s Superman,” at least with respect to power levels, color scheme, and his place among Earth’s superheroes, he’s certainly well-placed on this list.

29. Green Arrow

The hero originally conceived as “Batman with a Bow” (complete with Arrowcave, Arrowcar, and kid sidekick), quickly became a hero in his own right. In a way, he became almost the antithesis of Batman and Superman, losing his fortune and becoming a “hero of the streets.” While too much of a loner to stick with any team for long, the Battlin Bowman has had memorable team ups with Green Lantern, Batman, his sidekick Speedy, and of course, his lady, the Black Canary. He’s inspired a movie (long discussed but never made), and is the flagship character of DC’s new expanded TV universe.

28. Daredevil

Another Batman-type character with a unique twist, Daredevil has long been a fan favorite. The ultimate evolution of Stan Lee’s mission to offer readers “heroes with real problems,” Daredevil’s is about as real as can get. He’s blind. AND he lives in a crappy neighborhood. The idea of a disabled superhero was way ahead of its time, excluding the occasional wheelchair-bound Professor, and it’s no accident that just as GA was chosen to lead the DC TV charge, DD was tabbed to spearhead Marvel’s Netflix initiative.

27. Nightwing

Nightwing began as Dick Grayson, whose parents’ death at the hands of criminals proved strangely reminiscent to one Caped Crusader, who took in the young boy and trained him to fight crime as Robin, the boy wonder. Thus, the idea of the kid sidekick was firmly entrenched in comic book culture. Not only was Dick Grayson the first prominently known kid sidekick, he was also (along with Kid Flash) the first one to become a hero in his own right, giving up the Robin mantle to become Nightwing. Today, generations have passed since Dick was anything but Nightwing, but his growth from kid sidekick to scourge of evildoers has had a significant impact on the comic book universe.

26. Robin

But he had to become Robin first, and he wasn’t the only one. At least half a dozen young ones have worn the yellow cape, each one bringing something new and different to the Batman family. Robin is the granddaddy of all sidekicks, the colorful Yin to Batman’s grim Yang, one of the things that gives the Bat his humanity. Some Robins quit, some die, and some strike out on their own, (and some do all three) but each one is a significant part of comics lore.

25. The Hulk

Is he man or monster? Is how the Hulk was originally introduced, and we still don’t have the answer. Inspired by the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde story, the Hulk speaks to the rage inside all of us clamoring to get out. It’s no surprise that the Hulk is a fan favorite, especially among kids. Who among us doesn’t yearn to plow forth with a good “HULK SMASH!” when the world comes down too hard? The Hulk is a complicated hero, sometimes a gentle giant, sometimes a case of unfettered Id gone berserk. He’s inspired two movies and a classic TV show, and there’s no doubt the comic landscape wouldn’t be the same without the not-so-Jolly Green Giant.

24. Hank Pym

Poor Hank Pym. Things never seem to work out for the most talented, or at least the most dangerous, inventor in the Marvel Universe. Sure, the Pym Particles he created made Ant Man and the Wasp possible, not to mention Yellowjacket, Goliath and Giant-Man. But then again, he also created Ultron. He’s gone from founding Avenger to domestic abuser to duped criminal until hopefully redeemed as a mentor to younger heroes, the role he plays in the latest Ant-Man movie. With all of that history under his belt, it shouldn’t be any wonder why he’s on this list.

23. The Wasp

There wouldn’t be any Wasp without Hank, but there would still be a Janet Van Dyne. Never a mere piece of arm candy, even as Ant-Man’s “sidekick” she could do more, flying and generating “wasp stings” as part of her repertoire. She’s one of the first superheroes to authentically embrace both her feminine side and her powerful crime fighting side. She loves to shop and hates to wear the same superhero outfit twice, an idea that had never been put forth before but when you thought about it, of course! How many women want to wear the exact same outfit out every day? But once that outfit was on, criminals beware! Even during the “abuse” storyline, Janet refused to be a victim, and remains a shining example of a strong, independent female superhero to comics fans everywhere.

22. Iron Man

Tony Stark would never forgive me if I left him off this list. If Hank Pym isn’t the greatest inventor in the Marvel Universe, it’s this guy. After all, he built the device that saved his own life out of spare parts while he was dying. And then, of course, there’s all those bad ass Iron Man armors he’s made. Iron Man introduced us to the Marvel Cinematic Universe, has headed SHIELD, and is a key figure in the Universe-changing event Marvel’s Civil War (now a movie itself). Tony would be the first to tell you he’s Batman and Superman rolled into one, which is partly true and partly his tremendous ego. Tony’s also very human. Besides that ego I just mentioned, Tony’s had to deal with alcoholism and the loss of his company, not to mention his best friend, his girlfriend, and even his armor at various times. It’s hard to imagine a comic book universe without an Iron Man.

21. Green Lantern

The Green Lantern, and by extension, the Green Lantern Corps, expanded the DC Universe dramatically. When Hal Jordan received his power ring from Abin Sur and learned of the Guardians of the Universe and their intergalactic police force whose primary weapons were rings that chanelled their own will, we learned that we were no longer alone in the DC Universe. More than just the occasional Kryptonian or Martian, there were whole sectors of space to be explored, and a serious conflict for Mr. Jordan, forced to divide his time between defending his home planet and protecting the larger chunk of space it belonged to.

20. Captain America

Captain America predates the modern incarnation of Marvel Comics, but ever since Avengers #4, when he was thawed out of the Arctic ice, he has been as identified with Marvel as Superman or Batman has with DC. Like Iron Man, Cap combines a lot of what is interesting about Superman and Batman. He’s a stalwart defender of truth, justice and the Red, White, and Blue, but he doesn’t have the benefit of tank-lifitng strength or skin that’s impervious to bullets. He’s NOT a guy with no powers, however. The Super-Soldier serum flowing through his system is some serious stuff, so serious that pretty much the primary focus of Marvel’s Ultimate Universe was guys trying to recreate it. Not to mention that shield of his does a pretty good impression of Superman’s skin when it comes to dealing with projectiles. Cap’s had his own (terrible) TV Movie, an animated series, and some of the best movies the Marvel Cinematic Universe has had to offer. Few can beat his significance to the comics world.

19. Phoenix

Unlike in real life, death is not a final destination in comics, but a pit stop. To give you an idea of how impermanent it is, here’s a partial list of superheroes who have died and come back:

Batman AND Robin, Captain America AND Bucky, Superman, Supergirl, Green Arrow, Green Lantern, the Flash, and Spider-Man. And plenty more.

It’s pretty rare that a major character would die and stay dead. That is, until Jean Grey, possessed by the Phoenix force, sacrificed her life so that her fellow X-men could avoid persecution for her crime, which was merely absorbing the sun energy away from a planet in its solar system, killing all of its inhabitants. It was an emotional storyline, and after a few years, it became clear that even though Jean was a MAJOR CHARACTER, she was really gone. Of course, they brought her back after five years, but that was a LONG time for a character to be dead back then. (Since then, five years is nothing. Robin #2 Jason Todd came back after 17 years, Barry Allen’s Flash was dead more than 20, and Bucky Barnes spent a full SIXTY years in Hades before reemerging as The Winter Soldier). As far as I know, the only major superhero to die and stay dead is the Legion of Super Heroes’ Ferro Lad, but you didn’t know who the hell he was anyway, right? Anyway, the point is, Jean Grey/Phoenix, in addition to being one of the seminal X-Men, mainstreamed the idea that superheroes could die and stay dead, at least for a little while.

18. Deadpool

A year or two ago, Deadpool probably wouldn’t have been on this list at all. But Wade Wilson, you’re one bad boy that made good. Originally a Deathstroke knockoff that appeared as a villain in the pages of the New Mutants, Deadpool has evolved into something that has changed the world of comic books and superheroes entirely. He’s not the first mainstream comic book character to break the fourth wall. Ambush Bug did it and so did Animal Man (when Grant Morrison dragged him kicking and screaming through it). But he’s the first one to do it so successfully. Deadpool sees the absurdity of the whole comic book universe, and he lets us all in on the joke, kicking a whole holy hell of a lot of ass as he does so. You don’t have to “get” Deadpool and you don’t have to know where he fits into comics continuity. You just have to hold on tight and let him take you along for the ride.

17. Black Panther

It might have been enough that the Black Panther, was the first mainstream superhero to “break the color barrier,” But T’Challa of Wakanda is so much more than that. He was a character of dignity and poise, when, in a time of great civil unrest in America, they could easily have made him some kind of caricature, a backwards savage or jive-talking street tough. Besides the convention of putting the word “Black” in the name of a black superhero, like we wouldn’t notice if they didn’t do that (e.g. Black Lightning, Black Manta, Black Racer), T’Challa’s being African was simply an aspect of his culture, and he was a great example of it, a highly skilled athlete, a genius, and King of a nation that, far from being third-world, was technologically advanced and wealthy due to its stock of Vibranium, a rare and precious metal in the Marvel Universe. It seems the Black Panther is about to experience a bit of a renaissance in both the comics and film, and it is well deserved.

16. Wonder Woman

There may have been a few female superheroes that appeared before Wonder Woman, but none as inspirational, especially to young girls who had few role models in the comic book world. There are now some great female superheroes in mainstream comics, but Wonder Woman led the way. This quote from Princess Diana’s creator, William Moulton Marston, says it all: “Not even girls want to be girls so long as our feminine archetype lacks force, strength, and power. Not wanting to be girls, they don't want to be tender, submissive, peace-loving as good women are. Women's strong qualities have become despised because of their weakness. The obvious remedy is to create a feminine character with all the strength of Superman plus all the allure of a good and beautiful woman.” Okay, you’re gonna want to gloss over that “submissive” part, but this was pretty progressive for 1943. Oh, fun fact, the inspiration for that Golden Lasso of Truth? Marston also was the inventor of the polygraph machine.

15. Batman

What? Batman doesn’t crack the top ten, you cry? I feel your pain. Again, this list is about importance, and while Batman is certainly a mainstay of the comics universe and a popular favorite of many, including myself, his shtick had been done before, with “Mystery Men” like The Shadow, The Phantom, the Scarlet Pimpernel, and Zorro. Of course, nobody does it better than Bruce Wayne, and his influence on the comics universe unquestionably reaches far and wide, so he’s certainly entitled to a top 15 spot.

14. Wolverine

What makes Wolverine so wildly popular? He’s the classic antihero, a good guy but one who plays by his own rules. When he was introduced back in the ‘70s, the idea of the antihero wasn’t nearly as ingrained in the national consciousness as it is today. Most heroes were your standard Law and Order types, so when Wolverine came along, it changed everything. He was perfect for the new X-men, a group of misfits who didn’t quite fit anyone’s mold of what a super team should be, and even though Logan’s a loner at heart, he loves his mutant family. Most of them. Most of the time. Wolverine is one of a kind, and just barely misses the top ten.

10-13. The Fantastic Four (Original Members: Mr. Fantastic, The Invisible Girl, the Thing, the Human Torch)

If you want to blame anyone for pushing Batman, Wolverine or Wonder Woman out of the final spots. Blame Stan Lee and his Fantastic Four. Charged with creating a team of superheroes to rival the JLA (The heroes who would become the Avengers were not yet in existence), Stan and Jack Kirby created the FF, a group of some of the most unusual super heroes the world had ever seen, who were not only a team, but a family. The Fantastic Four ushered in the Marvel Age of superheroes, and even though they haven’t yet quite been able to translate successfully to the big screen, their importance is undiminished. Iconic characters such as Dr. Doom, Galactus, and the Silver Surfer were all introduced in the pages of the Fantastic Four, and they were the foundation on which all Marvel super heroes and super teams were built.

4-9. The X-Men (Original Members: Professor X, Angel, Beast, Cyclops, Iceman, Marvel Girl)

One wonders if the Fantastic Four wasn’t a trial run for an even more unusual band of superheroes, the X-Men. It’s in these pages that Stan Lee conceived of the idea of mutants, not as shambling, radioactive monsters, but as superheroes who were just born that way. While this idea was ahead of its time, the comic world caught up, and when Len Wein reimagined the X-Men in the ‘70s as a group of ethnically diverse outcasts (An African, Russian, Native American, Japanese, Irishman, German and Canadian joined the team, replacing all but Cyclops, Jean Grey, and Professor X), the world began to take notice. When the X-Men finally caught on, they became wildly popular, and mutant persecution as a metaphor for real world bigotry created a meaningful connection for readers, especially minority ones. The X-Men ushered in the modern era of superhero blockbuster movies, have had animated series’ and numerous spinoffs, and we probably wouldn’t have a lot of the characters on this list without them.

3. Spider-Man

You didn’t think you’d get to the end of this list without seeing your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, did you? Spider-Man is one of the most recognizable figures in comics, starring in multiple animated series’, a children’s television show, a live action TV show, a Broadway play, and five movies and counting. And it all started with a little radioactive spider. What made Spider-Man special when he first appeared is that he was a kid with real problems, just like the kids reading about him. He dealt with bullies, unrequited love, the loss of a parental figure, and the challenges of saving the world and still not being late for work or school. He taught us all (via Uncle Ben) that “with Great Power, there must also come Great Responsibility.” He was also a lot more fun than most of the superheroes at the time, a wisecracking prankster who actually seemed to enjoy swinging around the city humiliating bad guys. Spider-Man was a guy you could relate to, which is why he’s the top Marvel hero on this list.

2. Superman

Yes, Superman doesn’t quite top the list, but it’s close. He’s the granddaddy of them all, the hero from which all other heroes sprang forth. There were costumed adventurers before Superman, but the idea of a costumed hero with special abilities beyond those of mortal men, it took Siegel and Shuster to introduce that concept to the comics world. Superman is THE quintessential superhero. He’s got the look,he’s got the powers, and he was the first. He’d be number one on this list if not for…

1.The Flash

Shocked, right? I told you. (If you’re not, it’s only because you used process of elimination, or looked ahead). The explanation is in the picture above. In that comic, “Flash of Two Worlds,” written by Gardner Fox, DC introduced the idea of the multiverse. Different earths occupying the same physical space in different dimensions. Flash crossed the dimensional barrier, allowing him to visit his counterpart from Earth-2, the Flash of the ‘40s and ‘50s. The multiverse enabled conflicting stories to exist within the same continuity, with the explanation that they simply took place in alternate universes. It’s an idea that Marvel co-opted, and both companies use frequently to keep continuity straight today. In fact, a recent TV crossover between the CW’s Flash and CBS’ Supergirl used the multiverse theory to explain why these heroes can’t run into each other more often. DC didn’t invent the multiverse, it’s based on a concept in quantum physics, but, with the Flash’s help, they did make it an invaluable tool in comic book continuity.

The Flash is also the central character in virtually every major reboot DC has done in the past 30 years (check out Crisis on Infinite Earths, Zero Hour, Flashpoint), usually in the form of dying to save the universe (or the multiverse). He’s connected to the Speed Force, a godlike energy that seems to bind the multiverse together. He’s also Sheldon Cooper’s favorite superhero on The Big Bang Theory.

So that’s my list. Oh. And as far as the JLA, JSA and Avengers, I just felt that these characters were more important as individuals, and the idea of lumping all the best characters together in one team wasn’t that groundbreaking. Regarding the Legion of Superheroes, I love you Jim Shooter, but it’s a LEGION, for god’s sake, and I only had 50 spots. Maybe they’ll appear in a future list. (Future. Get it? Cause they’re from the…oh, never mind).

Happy to hear people’s questions, opinions, and irate rage at my leaving out/misranking X Y and/or Z, in the comments.

Comic Book Television Today: Spotlight on Daredevil

I just finished watching season 1 of Netflix’ Daredevil and I’m ready to render my verdict. Be forewarned, I’m a big fan of the modern T.V. and film takes on the superhero genre and you won’t see much bashing here, just an analysis of what is effective and what could be more so.

I’m of the firm opinion that if you’re an old school Marvel Comics fan, you have to love Daredevil. Daredevil is the essence of what Marvel was all about before it became a mutant-riddled playground whose goal was to see how many books you could shoehorn Wolverine into. Marvel Comics were supposed to be about superheroes who were real guys with real problems. Daredevil is BLIND. What’s a bigger problem than that? Daredevil was also a guy who fought real crime in a real city. He never had billions of dollars to fund his nocturnal enterprises, or a butler, or some cool tech like web shooters or rocket boots, or a magic ring, or any of that business. In so many ways, Daredevil IS Marvel.

That being said, comparisons can be drawn between Ol’ Hornhead and a DC character who’s headlining a “dark” drama, namely Green Arrow. Sure, the Arrow fights crime down and dirty using mostly his wits, but “Batman with a Bow” vs. “Batman Blind?” There’s no contest as to who’s got a tougher row to hoe.

It’s not really fair to compare “Daredevil” and “Arrow,” as they appear on two very different networks with two very different audiences. That being said, I think “The Flash,” which appears on the CW, as does “Arrow,” in some ways beats them both, combining faithfulness to the source material with just a dash of realism, and as little of the young love drama as we can reasonably expect from a CW show. 

“Arrow” is great, but I have a few issues with it. A) it’s about Green Arrow, whose mythology is a little thin for the everyday viewer, forcing them to draw on a lot of Batman’s stuff, leaving us to wonder where Batman fits in in the CW DCU, B) It tries to be dark while still being CW, which is a tough task for anyone to master, and C) They made Atom into a cheap Iron Man knockoff (although that may change), which, 1, Why? And 2, if you’re going to do that, Ted Kord AKA the Blue Beetle probably would have been a better choice.

But I am massively digressing. Daredevil, I think, is the perfect melding of genre and medium. Being on Netflix, the Daredevil team can afford to go as gritty as they think DD needs to be, which can get pretty gritty at times. I think their choices to not put him in the iconic red suit until the last episode, and not to reveal the Kingpin right off the bat, were both genius. It told the viewer, this is not a superhero show, this is an action drama that happens to star a superhero.

But the real success of Daredevil, I think, is as proof of concept of the Netflix model. It has been said that much of today’s “Golden Age” T.V. shows are like 13 hour movies, more than your classic procedural story of the week shows of the past. If any new series is a 13 hour movie, it’s Netflix’ Daredevil. The first few hours bring us through the arc of Matt Murdock becoming, the middle episodes have him running up against the Kingpin and finding himself in many ways wanting, and we wrap up with Matt the conquering hero, lessons learned, with more battle scars than anyone would have hoped, but with the evil he set out to stop vanquished. We could easily believe the story ends here, if we didn’t know Marvel with all of its planned “Phases” better.

So thumbs up for Daredevil. A well-executed, well-acted, well-written show, which effectively used the new medium offered it. Eagerly looking forward to Netflix’ next Marvel offering.

 

Why Your Super Power Sucks

When like-minded individuals get together, the conversation may turn (often after the fourth bong hit) to the following question:

If you could have any super power, what would it be?

This question generates some common answers, with most people having an idea of what would be the coolest power to have. Well I am here to put an end to all of this debate. Your super power sucks.

What follows are the ten most common answers to the question: If you could have any super power, what would it be, and my explanation of why having that power would really, really, suck for you.

This will not only free you up to debate more important things, like why most burger chains don’t serve hot dogs or why men don’t wear hats regularly any more like they did in the Fifties, but it will also save you a lot of time and aggravation should a genie ever appear before you and offer to grant you super powers. You’re welcome.

1. Mind Reading

This one is always near the top of people’s lists. How cool would it be to read minds? They say. You would always know exactly what the other person is thinking. You’d know exactly what to say to get that guy/girl to fall in love with you/sleep with you. Exactly what that interviewer is looking for in a potential hire. Exactly how low your opponent in a negotiation is willing to go.

Okay, reality check. First of all, just because you can read someone’s mind doesn't necessarily mean you’d be able to pluck the information you wanted from their brain like you’re doing a Google search.

You’d probably only be able to read what they’re thinking of at the current moment. Now, if you are in a negotiation, or a seduction, or an interview, what they’re thinking might be about you, but frankly, half the time I don’t know what I’m thinking until I think it.

I don’t necessarily know what will get me to agree to a deal or to pick someone for whatever I happen to need. In a negotiation, you might actually be worse off, since you’ll automatically accept the "rock bottom" offer you pull out of someone’s head, when a little pressure might have gotten them to change their mind and offer you more.

Beyond this, though, the ability to read minds would have catastrophic consequences. Here’s why. Everyone who is close to you, be it your parent, spouse, child or best friend, has, at one time or another, thought something absolutely awful about you. I mean, horrible. Not like, they wish you’d pick up after yourself more, but more on the order of, they wish you’d fuck off and die. It may be a fleeting, unwanted thought, they probably feel guilty as soon as it passes through, but if you happen to be looking in when that thought pops up, your relationship will never be the same.

That’s not to mention all the perverse, fucked up shit your people think about that has nothing to do with you. Do you really want to accidentally pick up your kid’s unspeakable sex fantasy? I don’t think so. Oh, but you’d respect the privacy of your loved ones and never take a peek inside their brains? Please. Don’t kid yourself.

2. Invulnerability/Immortality

Okay, you say, forget all that, how about I can just never be harmed, or I can live forever? Well, immortality sounds great, but it can quickly become a nightmare. First of all, you need to pair it with eternal youth, or else, like Tithonus of Greek Myth, you’ll spend an eternity in a living hell as a withered husk.

But let’s say you’ve got the whole package. Great. The first thing you’ll have to deal with is explaining to everyone who knows you why they’re aging and you’re not. Unless you want to spend the rest of eternity in a government lab, you’ll need to disappear and reappear as your kid every twenty or thirty years, and you’ll still have a lot of paperwork and fast talking to do. Furthermore, you’ll have to watch everyone you know, your wife, your friends, your kids and grandkids, get old and die. But maybe you can live with all that. What you won’t be able to live with is something called Time Dilation.

Have you noticed that the older you get, the faster time seems to go? It’s not just existential angst you’re facing. The older you get, the less time one day is in proportion to your life. In other words, when you’re 2, a year is half your life, which is a long time. When you’re 50, that same year is only 1/50^th of your life, and you can feel the difference. By the time you hit 500, whole generations will pass by for you in the blink of an eye.

If this doesn’t drive you insane, consider what will happen when the sun goes supernova and the solar system is destroyed, leaving you to float out in space, alone, until the end of time, or some generous space freighter from Alpha Centauri picks you up.

Okay, you say, forget the immortality, just give me invulnerability. Nothing can hurt me. Also sounds great, but believe it or not, the ability to feel pain is an important part of your humanity. Without it, you can’t appreciate pleasure, or love, or even a sad song on the radio. You’ll also probably become extremely careless, like being on a permanent Ketamine high, and there’s a good chance you’ll hurt someone else this way sooner or later.

3. Invisibility

Invisibility is a tempting power to have. You can sneak into the girls’ locker room or be a fly on the wall of the White House. However, if you gain this power, I hope you are prepared to become a criminal. 

We’ve all seen what happened to Gollum in Lord of the Rings, but the idea of invisibility bringing down even the most incorruptible goes back to ancient Greece, where in Plato’s Republic, Glaucon speaks of the Ring of Gyges, a ring discovered by a shepherd which confers the power of invisibility. According to Glaucon, Gyges then: “seduced the queen, and with her help conspired against the king and slew him, and took the kingdom.”

Glaucon then goes on to explain the fate of any possessor of such an item:

 Suppose now that there were two such magic rings, and the just put on one of them and the unjust the other; no man can be imagined to be of such an iron nature that he would stand fast in justice. No man would keep his hands off what was not his own when he could safely take what he liked out of the market, or go into houses and lie with any one at his pleasure, or kill or release from prison whom he would, and in all respects be like a God among men. Then the actions of the just would be as the actions of the unjust; they would both come at last to the same point...For all men believe in their hearts that injustice is far more profitable to the individual than justice, and he who argues as I have been supposing, will say that they are right. If you could imagine any one obtaining this power of becoming invisible, and never doing any wrong or touching what was another's, he would be thought by the lookers-on to be a most wretched idiot, although they would praise him to one another's faces, and keep up appearances with one another from a fear that they too might suffer injustice. 

But maybe you don’t mind the idea of being a criminal. You’ll need to keep in mind that you’ll probably have to strip naked every time you want to take advantage of this power, since it’s unlikely your invisibility will extend to your clothes. Also, since invisibility from a scientific perspective means that light bends around you, rather than bouncing off you, you may be blind when invisible, since no light is striking your eyes.

4. Flight

Flight is one of the better powers to have, but it still sucks. But how freeing it would be to fly with the birds, you say, or to be able to safely jump out a window, or up to a rooftop? Maybe. But here are a few things to consider.

First, have you ever noticed what people look like when they climb a mountain? They’re wearing parkas and oxygen tanks, if they’re smart. That’s cause it gets fucking cold up there, and the air is thinner. If you think you’re just going to hop out of bed and go cloud surfing in your pajamas every morning, you’re in for a rude awakening.

Also, in your fantasy of leaping off rooftops, you’re probably imagining graceful spins and dives from roof to roof. Here’s some more news. If you can’t do that shit in real life, you won’t be able to do it just ‘cause you can fly. Have you seen what those Chinese divers do at the Olympics? If you can do that, flight might be for you. If not, you’re probably going to be a sprawling, crawling mess flying through the air, grabbing at handholds that don’t exist. And unless the wind is always in your favor, you’re probably not going to get where you’re going any faster than you would by walking.

5. Super Strength

Okay, super strength. Bad ass power, right? No one’s going to mess with you because you can knock them out with one punch. Thing is, you can also break someone’s spine with a hearty slap on the back, so you’ll have to spend your entire life focused on controlling your body so you don’t do any property damage, or worse, people damage. Your hands will become registered as deadly weapons, and if you do get into a fight, you’ll probably end up in prison on a felony charge. Also,  one particularly bad dream that has you thrashing, or one temper tantrum, and say goodbye to your furniture.

And with all that, super strength isn't particularly useful. Have you seen what they do at those World’s Strongest Man Competitions? It’s mostly dragging large vehicles around and chopping wood. Is that really what you want to do with your life?

6. Time Travel

Well, first of all, time travel is almost certainly impossible, as I've explained here, here, and here.

Secondly, time travel would really suck. It’s tempting to go back in time to meet your younger self and tell them not to make some of the mistakes you made, but you’ll just make other mistakes, and they could be worse. That’s assuming your child-self recognizes you and doesn't call the police on some crazy old stalker who says in the future everyone will carry tiny computers around in their pockets.

Let’s say you go further back. You want to see what life was like for your parents growing up. No you don’t. Seeing mom and dad in old pictures or videos is cute, seeing them in real life would be super creepy and possibly scar you for life, especially if they act as stupidly as you did when you were growing up.

Okay, even further back. Let’s see what life was like in the Fifties, the Roaring Twenties, the 17^th century. There’s a reason they call them modern conveniences. Forget about not having access to things like the Internet, cable TV, or air conditioning, see how long you last without plastic. Or electricity. Or antibiotics.

Fine, let’s go to the future. Sounds tempting, even though you have no idea what to expect. We don’t know much about what the future will bring, but you know what it will almost surely bring? New viruses! Viruses that your 21^st century body has had no opportunity to evolve adequate defenses for! That 14^th Century Black Plague is starting to look pretty good now, isn't it?

7. X-Ray Vision

Okay, people have wanted X-Ray vision since comic books popularized the idea in the Thirties. Comic book ads of the 20^th century offered “X-Ray Specs” that could allow you to see through clothes. But X-ray vision is bullshit. First of all, X-rays can’t see through walls. But let’s say with your special vision you can see through anything. How would you control when you stop seeing through? Sure, you can see through a girl’s clothes, but why wouldn't you see right through her skin, or through her body entirely to the next room? Besides, if this is really the best power you can come up with, and this is the reason, you’re already staring at girls too much, you freaking letch.

8. Super Speed

Super speed isn't at the top of the list of popular powers, but it sneaks in there every now and again. Why does it suck? Well, for one, super speed is extremely destructive. Heat is generated by atoms moving very quickly, so running at high speed would generate a lot of heat. Enough heat to burn the runner’s clothes to a crisp, not to mention the runner.

But let’s say that like The Flash, you have a special aura that protects you from burning up, and you’re not running fast enough to cause sonic booms all the time. Your speed needs to come with fast reaction time, or it’s useless. It’s no good to run fast if you can’t avoid crashing into everything around you. If your reaction time were that fast, the entire world would seem like it were in slow motion to you.

To slow yourself down to the speed of everyone else so you could talk and interact normally would be agony, if you could even do it. On top of this, in order to feed your hyper fast metabolism, you’d probably have to eat as much as a stable of horses, which could get expensive.

9. Size Change

The ability to grow to great height or shrink to microscopic size also sounds fun, but in practice, you probably wouldn't like it very much. Let’s set aside the fact that size change is one of the most impossible of impossible abilities to have, since your mass would have to go or come from somewhere, as matter is never created nor destroyed. You’d still have to deal with the consequences of great height or small size. If you grew tall enough, there’s a good chance your body would collapse on itself, as bones, even giant ones, can only support so much weight.

Also, no one would be able to communicate with you, because the sound waves wouldn't reach you.

Shrinking is even worse. As shown in the classic comedy “HoneyI Shrunk the Kids,” being small can be extremely hazardous. Every annoying insect becomes a giant vicious nightmare monster. Also, you wouldn't be able to communicate with regular people when miniature either, for the same reason as above. You would, however, be able to live in a doll house.

10. Precognition

The problem with seeing the future is that it doesn't necessarily come with the ability to do anything about it. If you can see a future, it’s either preordained, or the future is mutable and it wasn't necessarily your future anyway. You’ll notice that when fortune tellers today predict your future, they predict things like new loves, money, or interesting opportunities. They never predict anything bad.

This is because they are scam artists. In reality, the future holds a lot of shitty things for a lot of people, and knowing about them without being able to stop them would kind of ruin the present. And you think you have trouble not giving away spoilers now…

So do all super powers suck? Not necessarily. Here are a few powers that you might actually find useful.

1. Energy projection
Strangely, in these philosophical debates, people rarely opt for the simple energy blast. These are great for protection, and as long as you’re discreet, probably won’t draw too much attention in your daily life in the same way super strength might, for example. Being able to fire blasts of energy can also be useful if you want to take out a wall in your house without paying a pricey contractor, too.

2. Transmutation

This is the ability to change one thing to another, like the classic alchemy of turning lead into gold. When abused, this power could get you into trouble, but if you use it for simple things, like turning garbage into steak, or an old rock into a diamond, it could probably prove extremely useful.

3.  Time Suspension

Traveling through time sucks. Stopping time is another matter entirely. Just ask this guy. Being able to stop time for a few seconds, to gather your thoughts, get out of a jam, or make sure you’re not late for work, is something everyone could benefit from. You run the risk of the invisibility problem with this one, but if the time suspension doesn't last long enough for you to get into any serious trouble, you should be all right.

4. Internal Life Support

Internal life support basically means you don’t need to breathe. This means effortless scuba diving, deep ocean swims without fear of drowning, and maybe even a stint as an astronaut. It’s not necessarily the most useful power, but it’s safe and fun.

5. Illusion Casting

This is another fun rather than useful power, and also one you need to be careful not to misuse. Also called projection, this is the ability to create realistic illusions, sort of like you’re a graphic designer who doesn't need a computer or a screen. As long as you don’t use it to prank all your friends into thinking they’re being chased by dragons (or at least, not too often), this could be a fine power to have.

Now you know why most super powers suck, so be happy you’re just an average jerk!

In Which the Sandman Returns; and Matters of Interest to Lunatics Are Discussed.

As I’m sure is true for almost any comic book fan of any longevity, I responded to news of a new Sandman series, with unfettered delight. No “Before Watchmen” this, no ghoulish exhumation of a completed story best left to rest (although that turned out better than anyone could have hoped for, I think). Nor did we need to expect comparisons to an aging rocker, hoarsely belting out classic hits to middle aged moms and dads reliving their youths. For this Sandman series would be penned by its original creator, Neil Gaiman, who by all appearances is at the height of his powers, having continued to produce quality work consistently since the tale of Dream of the Endless first ensured Gaiman's place among the Pantheon of Comic Book Gods such as Moore and Miller twenty-five years ago. We have every reason to expect that this new Sandman series will be everything we could have hoped for.

Having just read issue number one of The Sandman: Overture, I feel confident in saying no one will be disappointed. The story picks up just where the original series left off… and just where it began, in true Endless fashion. All our favorites seem to be in play, including Death, the Corinthian, and of course, Morpheus himself.

No spoilers here, I’ll only say the story opens with a reminder that there are truly infinite worlds and infinite stories to tell, and the first chapter closes by reinforcing that fact in what may be described as a fairly staggering way. Although I didn't do this myself, too eager to get to the new story, I suspect an evening or two dedicated to re-reading the original series in its entirety before digging into this fresh tale will be quite rewarding. In any event, if you are a fan of comic books, Gaiman, or literature, there’s no question this series is not to be missed.

While picking up Sandman, I also stumbled upon the latest offering by Jonathan Luna and Sarah Vaughn, entitled simply, as is the Luna wont, “Alex + Ada.”  Luna, of Luna Brothers fame, has been co-creator of such unforgettable works as Girls and The Sword, and his artistic style has a kind of haunting realism that is perfect for the type of stories he chooses to tell. “Alex + Ada” is no exception in this regard. The premise is hardly original; it’s probably one of the most classic science fiction tales: In a world where technology has advanced to the level where Artificial Intelligence and robotics are the order of the day, a lonely soul is presented with a robot clearly designed for companionship purposes and all that implies.

Although the scenario is familiar, there is something about Luna and Vaughn’s approach to the story that makes it feel entirely new. There’s that artwork of course, and hauntingly lifelike is naturally perfect for a story about android love. There’s the fact that Alex, although pining away for his lost girlfriend Claire and seemingly despondent, is an unwilling participant in the experiment, his robot having been a gift from a wealthy and well-meaning grandmother. There’s also a foreboding sense of doom foreshadowed by a news report of Artificial Intelligence run amok with disastrous consequences a year before. Little is revealed in the first issue, but it’s more than enough to have you wanting to learn more about Alex, his strong connections to the technology that no longer seems that far beyond our own, and what his relationship with his new potential robot paramour will be.

In my estimation, if you’re looking to get into comics, back into comics, or just add two new quality books to your lineup, these two are a great place to start.