Finding LOST

SPOILER ALERT! If you have not yet seen the last episode of Lost, read no further (if you care about knowing what happens)

So the last episode of LOST has come and gone, and what have we learned? Well, we learned that the surviving Losties saved the island and closed Pandora's Box and made all well with the universe, and then died and went to a place where their plane never crashed and all their dreams came true. Or something like that. I guess its better than just cutting to black?

Truthfully, as finales go, I didn't think it was a bad one, and they did answer a pretty good helping of questions, considering how many they brought up. However, they still left some unanswered, as I gather was the intent. Here are a few of mine. They fall into two categories. The first are about the show in general, and I don't know that these questions went unanswered so much as I don't know the answers, so if anyone does, please feel free to chime in. The second group are about the "resolution." Here goes.

General Questions

Why did Kate get all the best lines in the finale?

This is not really a question so much as an observation. I particularly enjoyed "I saved you a bullet," and "Christian Shepard? Really?"

If Jacob couldn't leave the island, how did he visit all of the "candidates" pre-Oceanic 815 in order to, well, make them candidates, I guess?

I'm sure there is an answer to this one out there, but I'll be damned if I know what it is. Anyone?

Why did Jacob choose those individuals in the first place? And why did he assign them those particular numbers. And what did those numbers mean anyway?

I understand that the answers to these questions may be found on the Season 6 DVD. Maybe they need a couple more months to figure it out?

If you pulled the cork out of that wine bottle, the wine would spill out, and it wouldn't spill back in if you replaced the cork. Why did the "light" come back?

and...

Jacob supposedly brought people to the island as potential candidates. Why couldn't Richard replace him? If Jacob brought Oceanic 815 down, why did we see that it was a result of Desmond failing to punch in the numbers?

Again, it may be that these things were explained along the way, I just didn't catch it if they were.

I'm sure I could come up with more, but I am MUCH more interested in exploring the "Flash Sideways" resolution. Here are my questions on that:

OK, so the Flash Sideways is some kind of Limbo, gateway to Heaven, whatever, and they can all be there at the same time because everybody dies at some point, right? SO:

Flash Sideways Questions

WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?

Are we to understand that Aaron lives a full life to a ripe old age and dies, only to have to spend his initial time in the afterlife as a newborn baby because a bunch of his mom's friends would have liked it that way?


And what about Ji Yeon? When she dies, she has to go back to being a FETUS!!!

WHAT ABOUT HURLEY?

Everybody dies, right? Not Hurley. He's immortal. We must assume that at some point, somebody killed him. Wouldn't you think that would warrant some discussion with Ben beyond just "You were a great number two, you were a great number one?"

WHAT ABOUT BEN?

And what about Ben, for that matter? He has to wait outside, I guess because he was such a pill to the Losties most of the time. But why can't he have his tearful reunion with his father? Is there an "Others" church next door that he will be heading to?

WHAT ABOUT LETTING GO?

So my understanding is that the point of the Flash Sideways was that the dead Losties had to learn to let go before they could move on. That's why, for example, Locke had to agree to the surgery before he could move on. But what did, say, Sun and Jin let go of? Or Claire? Or Charlie? He had to be knocked out and dragged to the final "venue."

WHAT ABOUT CHARLIE?

Speaking of Charlie, he had kind of a crappy Limbo experience, didn't he? Everyone else kind of got their fantasy, but Charlie's first experience is choking on a bag of heroin! How is that fair?

I'm sure there's more, but that should be enough to get y'all started...

That Which Does not Kill You...

I'm doing a lot of editing lately, and I'm seeing a great deal of confusion over when to use "that" and when to use "which." I know this is a common issue, and it never used to bother me. In fact, I used to get confused too, but now that I don't, I don't want anyone else to either. So here's a simple mnemonic to help you get this right every time:

Which one? That 2?

What does it mean? Essentially it means that if there's only one of the thing in the first clause, you use which, and if there are two or more, you use that.

For example:

Jesus loves Mary Magdalene's home, which doubles as a whorehouse.

Mary Magdalene only has one home, hence you use which. "Which one"

Jesus hates the law that says he can't marry Peter.

There are many laws, certainly more than two, that Jesus could potentially hate, he hates this particular law out of many, hence, use that. "That 2"

By way of illustration, let's flip them. Let's say Mary Magdalene runs a real estate empire, and has houses all over Rome. Jesus in particular hates the Ranch style two family home near the countryside. So:

Jesus loves the Mary Magdalene place that doubles as a whorehouse, not the home near the countryside.

See? "That 2"

Meanwhile, Pontius Pilate, who believes the Jews hate our freedom and love same sex fornication, has enacted the "Sexual Freedom Law" which states that two men cannot get married. So:

Jesus hates the Sexual Freedom Law, which states that he cannot marry Peter.

See? There's only one Sexual Freedom law. "Which one."

So there you go. It's not perfect but it's good enough that I expect you to get this right every time from now on.